Waiting for His Appointed Time

My dear friend, Rebecca, sent this to me last night. It is soothing to my soul. I had to share it.

It is an excerpt from Streams in the Desert, May 24 by L.B. Cowman. (I'm going to have to pick up that book!)

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations (Ps 33:11) But we must be prepared to wait on God's timing. His timing is precise, for He does things "at the very time" He has set. It is not for us to know His timing, and in fact we cannot know it - we must wait for it.

If God had told Abraham while he was in Haran that he would have to wait 30 yrs before holding his promised child in his arms, his heart might have failed him. So God, as an act of His gracious love, hid from Abraham the number of weary yearrs he would be required to wait. Only as the time was approaching, with but a few months left to wait, did God reveal His promise: "At the appointed time next year....Sarah will have a son" Gen 18:14. The appointed time came at last, and soon the joyous laughter that filled the patriarch's home caused the now elderly couple to forget their long and tiring wait.

So take heart, dear child, when God requires you to wait. The One you wait for will not disappoint you. He will never be even 5 mins behind "the appointed time." And soon "your grief will turn to joy" Jn 16:20.

Oh how joyful the soul that God brings to laughter! Then sorrow and crying flee forever, as darkness flees the dawn.

****skip some**** Some things cannot be accomplished in a day. Even God does not make a glorious sunset in a moment. For several days He gathers the mist with which to build His beautiful palaces in the western sky.

Some glorious morn - but when? Ah who will say?

The steepest mountain will become a plain,

And the parched land be satisfied with rain.

The gates of brass all broken iron bars,

Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.

Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,

For him who with a patient heart can wait.

These things will be on God's appointed day:

IT MAY NOT BE TOMORROW -- YET IT MAY.

Counting

I'm sitting here with a cup of Good Earth hot tea (one of my favorites). It is cold, windy, and rainy. The weather compliments my melancholy thoughts and feelings. I've already been to prayer this morning, jogged, and eaten a few Mother's Day chocolates in hopes of cheering myself up. It's helped a little but it's another hard day. I've been sitting by the computer too long, aching. I'm tired of the wait and the fight for faith and the unknown.

Court date was 11 weeks ago now. Homestudies 8 1/2 weeks ago. Maren will turn 6 months old on Saturday. Half of her first year will be behind her. School gets out on May 20th. Angie's coming home on May 19th. Mom and Ron are coming the first week of June. Gary and Liz are coming mid-June. Long sigh. Time is dragging. I really thought I might be holding her by now.

I continue to rehearse Isaiah 30:18, "Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him." I am not feeling it this morning but I am praying for faith to believe it. With His help I can keep going.

A Glimpse of Meg on Mother's Day

The Farmers are in Taiwan right now with their daughter, Mylee! They spent 2 nights in the House of Hope giving the nannies a mini-vacation. This morning they sent a Mother's Day greeting from Meg. Here's the link!

Stephanie Fast

I frequently read Noel Piper's blog. Noel recently attended Orphan Summit VI which is put on by Christian Alliance for Orphans. One of the speakers who came was Stephanie Fast. Stephanie was adopted at the age of 9 from Korea. She had been abandoned at a train station and then abused and left to die in a garbage dump. Some nuns found her. And, God brought a missionary couple to be her parents. Noel tweeted some things that she said in her time to share at the Summit. I keep going back to Noel's tweets and re-reading them. I decided I wanted to write them down here because they have been so meaningful to me. I keep thinking about them. I am praying over these statements for our family. I am especially asking that Maren will be adopted twice (once by us and again by her Heavenly Father) and I am praying Ada, Joe, Elie, Sam, Alex, and I will be adopted too. We need our Father's love and certainty of our adoption.

"There is no event in my life that I would be better without. "

"Just being adopted doesn't remove the orphan spirit. Only the 2nd adoption, with God as Father can remove that spirit. "

"Adoptive parent, you are chosen by God to be a voice in your child's life so your child can rise up and be a voice to other orphans."

"Why aren't more adult adoptees speaking out? Maybe because they still have the old orphan spirit & need to know God's adoption."

"My natural father never knew I existed. My heavenly father has known & loved me every second of all eternity."

"My country rejected me because I was biracial. God said, I have a place and purpose for you."

"Essence of orphan ministry: not ONLY caring for current needs, but looking toward a child's future and hope. "

"When I was introduced to Jesus, I didn't know how to take him, because I didn't know how to recognize love."

"When I was adopted at 9, I had every syndrome you hear about for older orphans."

"I do not want to be the orphan, the adopted daughter, who keeps the story of her 2 adoptions to herself."

He Continues to Provide!

2 of My Favorite Books on Bonding

Becoming a Family

The Connected Child

When adopting the most important issue by far is bonding. One way we are planning to bond with Maren is through keeping very close proximity for several months. We will be making up for time away from her when she comes home. One tool we really wanted was a co-sleeper so she can be near us at night. The Lord has provided and we are so grateful. Some of my friends in the mom's group I am a part of on Tuesday morning surprised me and went together and purchased this co-sleeper for us! It attaches to our bed. Maren can be very close and have her own space. Thank you, Lord! And, thank you ladies! You have blessed us!

I Can Do All Things Through Christ

I don't wish to be redundant but all I can say is adoption sure is full of ups and downs. Come to think of it I guess that is life. But, it seems like adoption is a season in life where they come close together. At least that has been my experience for a little over a year.

Yesterday when I woke up I was "up". Then I came out to the computer and checked my inbox, no news. All of a sudden a "down" swept over me. I stared at the computer and willed for something to change. I hoped as I sat there news would come. I posted a facebook status that said, "if staring at the computer could make something happen in the judicial system of Taiwan then Maren would have been home a long time ago." Then I deleted it. It just felt like a stupid pointless thing to say. Why did I say that?

Monday is Mom's in Touch day for me. I choose our theme each week. Yesterday I chose, "God Sustains". I sat at the table bowed my head while I waited for time to begin. Thoughts swirled through my head while I waited. "I can't do this. I can't wait any longer, Lord. This really hurts. When Lord? I just want to be her mom and I can't understand why it's not time yet." Tears came. I have been holding onto the verse Rebecca sent when my thoughts start to runaway, "The Lord waits to be gracious to me."

Time to start praying. Here were yesterday's verses:

Psalm 18:35, "You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great."

Psalm 54:4, "Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life."

Psalm 147:6, "The Lord lifts up the humble, he casts the wicked to the ground."

As we started to praise God I could clearly see my pride. Who was I to say, "I can't do this." What gives me the right to think "I reached the end of my rope."? Maren is the Lord's, not mine. The Maker of Heaven of Earth is my Help! His ways are not my ways and His ways are higher, better.

He is my Help. Help seems like a small word in English. Helper is the assistant not the main player. When we think, "you can help", we think of a small role we give to our kids or something. But, the King of Kings supports me with His right hand (the hand of His authority). This help is not small. This help is not trivial or insignificant. I don't want to be wicked and prideful and cast off by the Lord. I want to receive His help. I want to be a conduit of His strength. His strength really is made perfect in my weakness. I want His help. I want Him to lift me up.

"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content, I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

Pray that I will believe that God is near. Pray that I will believe that He is working for me and for Maren. Pray that I will have faith at the end of the adoption and more importantly at the day of Christ. I want to stand unashamed before my God who stands with me. I want to hear Him say, "well done".

Do I want to wait longer? Of course not! But, what do I know?

Maren is Meg

Maren isn't home yet. But already we have confused people with her name. :) Several folks have asked me, "Is her name Maren or Meg or Megan?". Her name is Maren.

Every time I had been expecting since Joseph back in 2001 we considered the name Margaret for a girl. Meg is a nick name for Margaret. (Honestly, I don't see how Meg comes out of Margaret but I have heard that it does.) Anyway, if we had named our baby Margaret we planned to call her Meg. Well, a few years ago we came across the name Maren which is a variant form of Margaret. It has the same meaning. And, we love the name Maren and we still like the nick name Meg. So, there you have it! Sorry for the confusion. Hopefully Meg won't mind.