Love Her All the Time

Maren is 11 months old today! We must be settling into a routine because I didn't even think about it being a mile marker until we were at the YMCA this morning. We still rejoice in finally having her HOME! These kinds of days were always so hard when she was on the other side of the sea. We never wanted to miss out.

I decided to have a little photo shoot with her this morning. I probably should've waited because it was nearly her nap time and she was not a happy camper. She needed to sleep. But some of her "sad" pictures were so adorable I had to share them. We love her all the time, happy or sad!

She dislikes hats, bows, or anything on her head. She is happiest when she is exploring and touching. In fact, it is hard to get her to look at the camera because she is usually so busy and so focused on what she is doing.

She loves Sam. They are buddies! He can't wait for her to walk and follow him around. (He may change his mind about that.)

She is beginning to laugh whenever we laugh at something. She wants to be a part of the group. It is super super cute! This baby has captured our hearts. Love you, Marenbella!

We Go Together

Maren has been home for a little over 3 months. People often ask us how bonding is going. Some people offer commentary saying, "she looks like she has bonded now". This is our first adoption. We are newbies. We feel "bonding" is going very well. And, we believe bonding is not a one time thing.

Bonding is not something that can be calculated or comes to a definitive end. It is an ongoing process that takes time. It is about relationship and growing trust and love. We loved Maren so much before we ever met her. And we are more attached to her

today than ever. Tomorrow I believe we will know her a little better and our connection will be even stronger.

We have been very purposeful, intentional, and careful for the past 3 months with Maren for her long term good. This has not been easy. Our actions have only been with her best interest in mind. She needs us in a very special way. She needs to learn who her family is first. She needs to know that we are her primary caregivers and nurturers. We are different than other people.

I have learned a lot through my research on adoption and bonding. You can see a few of my favorite books if you click here. Also, I have stumbled onto an amazing website by a specialist in child psychology. I would also like to link that here. These resources are especially for adoptive families. However, I think there is a lot of wisdom here for any parent or interested person.

Our social worker recommended at our first home visit in August that no one outside of our family would hold Maren for 6 months. We have chosen to follow her professional counsel. Others who adopt make different choices and that is o.k. Each family has to do what they believe is best for their child.

When we made this decision it was not about other people and what they would think and how they would react. We are aware that some people have felt excluded. People are dying to hold this precious little bundle. I can't blame them! She's wonderful! We empathize with others and have not wished to hurt them. However, if we don't give Maren what we believe she needs, who will? It is not easy to ask friends to wait. But six months is not long in the scheme of Maren' life.

Maren and I are always together. This is one of my greatest joys. We are making up for the time that we were half a world apart. She is learning that Alex and I are here for her. We want to meet her needs. I have taken full responsibility for all of her feedings because I want her to know I am her mommy. I nursed our first 4 children and I want to give her the same priority, love, and commitment as her brothers and sisters.

Our house is not as clean as I would like. I am more tired than I had been before she came home. Alex and I are rarely alone. But, I don't have an ounce or a minute of regret. I am trying to fully soak in and enjoy this time which goes all too quickly. I can't believe we are so close to her first birthday!

Adoption is a passion of mine. Alex and I are praying and seeking the Lord about the future of our family. I would love to do this again some day.

Letting My Perfectionism Go

I cannot believe how little I have blogged here since arriving in Taiwan! I had been planning to write every day on our trip. I thought I was off with a bang when I posted

"Camp Wannameechameg" from our Omaha hotel room the night before our departure. But once Maren was in my arms I found it very challenging to type one-handed. Blogging has had to wait.

I thought when I got home I would go back and catch up the blog. I wanted it to be chronological so I have been waiting to post anything current until I had caught up. Well, Maren has been home from Taiwan for over 3 months now and I am not caught up and catching up doesn't seem to be easy. She was sleeping when I started this post and now she is wide awake in all her cuteness and charm kicking and cooing and giggling as I type. So much for my plans....Maren is better.

♥ His Hands Taiwan

Love these ladies!

Love this ministry!

Love the nannies!

Love the babies!

Love the mommies!

Love the Lord for his leading!

Please click here and learn more about His Hands Taiwan! Pray for them, love them, bless them! Be a partner in what God is doing.

I am jumping a little ahead. This photo was taken at our last meal with Holly and Trena. All I can say is I didn't want it to end. We were just starting to scratch the surface of getting to know them and their beautiful families. We will never forget them. We ♥ them.

United at Last!

The end of our adoption story was a roller coaster. On Memorial Day weekend we received an email from His Hands Taiwan. They had called the clerk who had been assigned to our case to check on the status of our adoption. They did not receive good news. The clerk informed them that the home-study which had been completed on Maren's mother back on March 17 was invalid. The clerk said it would have to be "re-done". In addition to this Holly and Trena were having trouble locating Maren's mom. She thought she was finished with her responsibilities. Her phone number had changed and all of the phone numbers that they had for her were not working. In addition to that we learned that Maren was from Ping Dong county. Ping Dong has many social challenges. There is a lot of abuse there. It is difficult to rush anything through the social services office. It looked as though our adoption would not be completed for at least a few more months at that point.

God gave us a miracle! You can read that story if you click here and scroll down to June 2.

I share this background because the height of our joy came after a very dark low. Meeting Maren in June was a miracle that we will treasure forever!

We met Maren at the House of Hope. We wanted to come into her familiar surroundings, see what her environment was like, and ease into our hello. It was an amazing moment. It was just like I dreamed it would be. I imagined the moment over and over before it actually arrived. I envisioned that she would be happy and playing and I would sit down beside her with my camera in hand and soak her in. I was so happy to be there and to touch her.

Meeting Meg

One of Our Happiest Mornings On Earth

Alex and I love new places! We were excited from the beginning of this adoption that we would be traveling to Asia for the first time. When we were talking and praying about adopting and we learned about Taiwan Alex said, "Taiwan, yes, Taiwan, I like it. It seems right." It did not disappoint. It was right.

I woke up with a deep joy in my heart on June 19th. It was surreal. I did my best to soak in all the sights, smells, sounds, emotions. I am smiling just thinking about it.

The Novetel was the name of our hotel. The breakfast buffet was truly international. There were meats, cheeses, breads, croissants, Japanese noodles, English breakfast beans, Congee (an Asian rice porridge), eggs, bacon, juice, coffee. You name it. They had it.

People were very friendly and were interested in us. We were congratulated several times as we shared our reason for travel. It was delightful in every way.

After breakfast we packed up our things to catch the 8:00 a.m. shuttle to the High Speed Rail. We got to the lobby at 8:00 and asked the front desk where we should catch the shuttle. As we were talking the shuttle drove away. For a brief moment my heart sank. I thought our whole day might have just changed.

But.......

My knight in shining armor, Alex, hailed a taxi and we were on our way on schedule smiling from ear to ear.

We made it to the train station. Purchasing the tickets was easy. We were set.

By car I believe it would've taken us 6 hours to get from Taipei (in the north) to Kaohsiung City (in the South). But, the high speed train would get us there in about an hour and a half. Amazing!

The train was very clean and smooth.

We enjoyed the trek immensely. The landscape was interesting and beautiful.

We didn't really feel nervous. We were just excited!

We arrived at the Kaohsiung Train station at 10:06 a.m. Holly and Trena were waiting on us!

We loaded up our suitcases and were off to meet Meg!