In Your Time

Wow! What a roller coaster! A few weeks ago I was very content and felt joy that the end was coming into view. Remember my post....every day is getting closer with the big smiley face? This past week and a half I have been on the other end of things. I have been battling for that smile and keeping the tears at bay. Wondering how much longer it's going to be until I see her sweet face and hold her? I am longing!

The longing is producing prayer. I listened to a Tim Keller sermon a little while back and a phrase keeps coming to mind from that message that we "do not pray like the pagans do". He went on to explain that pagans pray full of anxiety and they pray their anxiety and they use many words out of fear without faith, hope, and trust. I feel myself slipping into anxiety filled praying at times. But, the Holy Spirit keeps reminding me not to pray without hope. There is hope. My God is mighty and He is working on Meg's behalf. He does hear my prayers. He is going to bring her home and work justice on her behalf. Maybe not on my time-table so I just gotta keep praying, asking, believing, and beating down worry with a large stick.

Dueteronomy 10:18 says, "He executes justice for the fatherless!" This is who our God is. This is what His word says about Him and His character. He is Maren's Heavenly Father and He loves her more than I do! She belongs to Him.

This morning while I was praying a phrase Gloria Stout always used to say to me when I lived at home in Mount Morris came to mind. "God is the slowest person I know but He's always right on time." I feel like the Lord is growing my trust.

I wanted Maren home in March! I still would like her home in April! I am not sure what the Lord is doing. But I am humbled as I have reflected back over His amazing timing in my life this far. He is amazing! He knows! I am hurting right now but I am calling to mind how Great the Lord has been so far in my life. Let alone His timing since the creation. I am so little. Why do I act like I know what would be best and act like I know how He should run the world? Take Your time, Lord and fill me with hope in you!

"O that we may kiss the rod, and lay our hands upon our mouths! " -Sara Edwards